Why Hetalians Shouldn't Play
by Arigato-Okami
Summary: The Allies and Axis have decided to have a games competition! Hilarity and romance ensue! Highschool AU, Human names only! Main pairings are GerIta, USUK, PruCan and Spamano ! Rated T for France. 'nuff said. (Need new Co-author if I am to finish this story. PM me if interested. Otherwise on HIATUS. Sorry)
1. Sports

**Well, isnt this just hilarious. I'm not DEAD :'D**

**Its been what, almost six years since I've uploaded anything?**

**And to top it off I changed my pen name to coincide nicely with my DA account, oh the lolz.**

**Anyways, there's some important author and copywrite crap I need you guys to understand!**

**So, me n' my bestie decided to co-author a Hetalia fanfic! Crazy right?**

**So, she has done most of the writing so far, but I hope to familiarize myself with the characters before I start to do anything really important like. ;) I HAVE, however, helped out with the plot and such (ahem and I believe it was my idea to begin with..) and as a result DanzQueenB has allowed me to post it to fanfiction, and she to DA (If you want a link to her page{or mine *wink wink*} please PM me)**

**Ironically we came up with this idea in our AP math class while we were *ahem* **_**working diligently**_**.**

**I don't want to bore you, so without further adieu,**

**Neither DanzQueenB nor I own Hetalia or any of its characters.. though if we did... just kidding. We do own the story though!**

**Welcome to the crazed minds of Arigato-Okami and DanzQueenB.**

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><p><strong>Why Hetalians Shouldn't Play Sports<strong>

**Chapter 1**

"Ve~!Doitsu! Help me!" Feliciano hid behind his best friend, "Arthur's trying to make me eat his horrible food!"

"Hey!" The angry Brit approached with a plate of... something. What it was will never be known.

"I tried my best!"

Ludwig sighed,

"Arthur, why are you trying to force him to eat it?" Arthur cringed,

"It's for Home Ec class and he's my partner!"

What seems to be ze problem here?" Francis, originally from France, slung his arm over Arthur's shoulder. Arthur pushed him away,

"Don't try to be the hero, frog!"

"Yeah! Cause that's my job!" Alfred, the cocky American jock appeared suddenly, "What's up Artie?"

"Don't call me that! Bloody moron."

"He's trying to force Feli to eat his cooking." Ludwig sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oooh! Better grab the stomach pump!" Alfred joked, laughing loudly until Arthur elbowed him roughly in the ribs.

"What is going on here?" Kiku, a small Japanese boy, appeared with his textbooks in hand.

"Your friends made fun of Arthur's cooking." Francis explained.

"But we didn't-" Feliciano started, but Ludwig interrupted him,

"Ja, and vat are you going to do about it?"

"Are we picking a fight?" Ivan, the creepy Russian boy who seemed to always carry a lead pipe on his person, was walking by the door with Kiku's cousin Yao, "Can we join, da?"

"Fights are so immature, aru." Yao shook his head.

"We are not fighting." Kiku protested.

"Let's settle this once and for all!" Alfred exclaimed loudly.

"Is this all over Arthur-san's cooking?" Kiku asked timidly, " Because if it is, I aporogize on Ludwig and Feliciano's behalf." The Japanese would have bowed but Ludwig stopped him.

"Nein Kiku, this is over ze fact that these five arschlöcher**(1) **picked on us... vell, mostly Feliciano... since we started coming here." The German cracked his knuckles, "Vhat makes you think you are better than us?"

"My sexy 'air of course!" Francis replied, flipping said hair.

"Because I'm the hero!" Alfred yelled, fist pumping. Arthur dead-panned.

"Because of my Hello Kitty lunch box, aru!"

"Become one with me and you'll be cool!" Ivan said, eyes glinting darkly.**(2)**

Ludwig stared blankly at the group.

"Vell, ve von't take it anymore."

"Then we challenge you to a duel!" Francis cried, before drawing a glove out of..somewhere explicit*cough* and slapping Ludwig across the face dramatically.

"Why would you hit Doitsu?" Feliciano cried.

"What? It iz a tradition Française!"

"Whatever! We, like, totally challenge you to a competition!" Alfred eyes blazed at the thought of a good competition.

"Ve accept!" Ludwig nodded.

"We do?" Kiku and Feliciano looked at each other disbelievingly.

"It will be a games competition." Alfred explained, "us five against you three!"

"Five against three?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

"Ve! That's not fair!" Feliciano whined.

"Fine, we will go three versus three with two substitutes." Yao said, nodding decisively.

"Best out of ten games, da?" Ivan grinned eerily.**(3) **

"If we win, you have to eat Artie's cooking for a month!" Alfred laughed.

"Hey!"

"And if we win, you have to do our homework for a month!" Ludwig proposed.

"What? NO! You do it yourself!" Arthur crossed his arms defiantly, " As President of the student Council I will not-"

"Your food tastes like bad wurst!" Ludwig interrupted.

"Bring it on you stupid wanker!" Francis and Alfred had to hold the furious Brit back so he didn't permanently disfigure the German.

"We will begin tomorrow." Yao said.

"But what game will we play?" Feliciano asked.

"I have an idea," Alfred announced, "And as the hero, I get first dibs on the first game!"

"Fine zen." Ludwig agreed, "May ze better team vin."

"Which will be us!" Alfred let go of the still fuming Arthur and grinned his trademark 'Blinding Smile of Heroism'.

"We shall be known as the 'Awesome Llamas (who) Like Icecream Every Sunday, or Allies for short!" He flashed another blinding smile and a thumbs up.

Ve vill be team Axis." Ludwig decided without the consent of Kiku or Feliciano, seeing as Alfred had not either.

"Let the games begin!"

* * *

><p>"Hey Lovi!" Thee cheerful Spaniard, Antonio, glomped Feliciano's older, grumpier brother.<p>

"Get off me you bastard!" Lovino tried, in vain, to shake him off.

"Did you hear?" Antonio asked excitedly, "About the big competition? Francis-"

"Si, si." Lovino was finally able to shake him off, "Mio fratello**(4)** won't shut up about it."

"Let's make a bet, Lovi!"

"No!" Lovino rejected the idea quickly.

"Why not?" Antonio pouted, " If you win, I'll let you have all the tomatoes from the Garden Club. We have a huge crop this year and-"

"Alright, alright, we can make a stupid bet." Lovino agreed begrudgingly.

"Well, I bet that the Allies will win hands down!" Antonio grinned.

"As if! The Axis will win!" Lovino paused, frowning, "Even if that Potato bastard is on the team."

"Great! So if I win," Antonio smirked devilishly, "You have to kiss me." Lovino ridded him of the smirk by punching him.

"Fottuto pervertito!**(5)**" Lovino couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks, "That will _never_ happen!"

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, okay, some major shizz just went down! hahaha<strong>

**So, a note for you all, I use google translate for any of the languages other than French and English**

**(Ahem I am a proud bilingual Canadian! WoOT! )**

**And also, I tried my hand at writing accents, so if I failed epically, please let me know!**

**Watch for dat numbered stuff okay!**

**(1) is a translation of 'Assholes' in German. If its wrong please PM or review with the correct term. you can never truly trust Google translate. ;_;**

**(2) I'm gonna have nightmares about that for years I'm sure. Aha!**

**(3) Why did I think of the Joker just then? Why so serious?**

**(4)My brother - Italian**

**(5) You fucking pervert! - Italian**


	2. American Football

**Woooo, sorry for the long wait guys! Life caught up and bit me on the bum. **

**So, short author's note is short. :P**

**Our school recently got a football team, and Queeny and I have been going to their games. We thought this might be a good tribute to their first ever win to put the sport American(or in our case Canadian, damn we are patriotic) Football. Not to be confusedwith European football, or 'soccer'. ;)**

**My playlist for this chapter consisted of entirely Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Soundtrack.**

**Go figure.**

**And as always,**

**neither DanzQueenB nor I own Hetalia.**

**Enjoy! :D**

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><p><span>Why Hetalians Shouldn't Play American Football<span>

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" Alfred grinned. Feliciano hid behind Ludwig, who's expression did not change.

"You haven't even told us what ve're playing." The blonde german reminded him.

"We're gonna play some football!"

"Football?" Feliciano jumped out from behind his taller friend, "Ve~ I love football!"

"Great idea, Alfred." Arthur grinned, "I'm quite good at football."

"Really?" Alfred blinked slowly in surprise, "I can't see you tackling anyone to the ground..."

"What on earth are you implying?" Arthur flushed, "You don't tackle in football! Trip maybe, but that could get you carded."

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"Football."

Feliciano followed the whole exchange, head swinging back and forth as the two boys argued.

"Si! He is!" Feliciano squeaked.

"Ja." Ludwig also agreed, nodding stoically.

"Are you guys sure you're even talking about football? No tackling, I mean, how lame!" Alfred pulled a lemon shaped brown ball out of his sports bag that lay at his feet, "This, my friends, is a football!"

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to be?" Arthur demanded, "A football is _round_!"

Alfred laughed,

"I don't mean _soccer_."

"Soccer? What is that?" Feliciano asked.

"You kick a round ball around a field and into a goal! Well, if you can get past defence, that is."

"That's football you blithering idiot!" Arthur yelled, getting into Alfred's face, though he had to stand on tip-toe to do it. Alfred simply smiled, pushing him away.

"Well, we are going to play _American_ football!"

"American football?" Feliciano tilted his head to the side, "Ve~?"

"You tosser!" Arthur growled, "How dare you make football 'American'!" Alfred shrugged,

"I didn't change it. I'm not a country y'know." He grinned, "Now, the rules! Just get the ball to the other side of the field without getting tackled. We'll leave it at that so it doesn't get _too_ complicated for Artie.**(and the authors) **Got it?" Ludwig nodded,

"Ja, it sounds easy enough."

"We'll go with three versus three." Alfred pointed at the Axis, "You three versus me, Artie and.."

"Not me, mon cher." Francis' eyes lit up, "I'd rather watch you tackle eachother from the sidelines." Alfred nodded, though slightly disturbed on the inside,

"It's settled then. You three versus me, Artie and Ivan!" Feliciano gulped at the mention of the scary russian,

"No offence to you though, Yao." Yao shook his head,

"I would rather not get involved in your rough play." Yao crossed his arms, "I'll be the referee."

"Isn't that a little biased? Kiku murmured.

"Hola amigos!" Antonio walked up to the group, dragging a reluctant Lovino behind him, "Need some announcers?"

"Antonio!" Feliciano grabbed Antonio's free hand, ignoring the dark aura surrounding his brother, "You and fratello can be the judges, so it will be fair!"

"Ohh! That'll be fun! What do you think, Lovi?" Antonio asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll help." Lovino looked away, rubbing the back of his neck absently.

"Great! Then let's go get ready," Alfred winked, "We're gonna need some padding, cause it's gonna get rough out there!"

**Later, in the stands:**

"Bruder will be so happy when he sees the awesome me has attended his little challenge game!" The german albino, Gilbert, sat down on the bleachers, only to hear a small voice whimper,

"Maple!"

"What was that?" Gilbert glanced around, mildly surprised.

"Could you -umf- get off me please?" Gilbert jumped up, only to see that he had accidentally sat on someone. A blonde, lavender eyed boy to be exact. He was holding a stuffed..no wait, it moved...a small baby polar bear.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there." Gilbert smiled.

"That's okay." The other assured him. Gilbert was about to ask him who he was, as he had never seen him before, but the bear beat him to it.

"Who are you?" It asked. **(A/N: And in this world, nobody cared that the bear could **_**talk**_**. What is wrong with these people?)**

"I'm Matthew, your owner." Matthew sounded frustrated.

"So, your name's Matthew, then?" Gilbert grinned. Matthew blushed,

"Oui." He tapped his bear's nose, "Stop growling Kumakichi!" Gilbert sat down next to Matthew, blatantly ignoring the bear's snarls.

"So, what are you doing here sitting next to the awesome Gilbert?" Gilbert asked.

"Well, one, you sat next to me. Two, my brother, Al, is playing football." Matthew explained. Suddenly, the bear bit Gilbert's hand.

"Kumabear! Bad Kumajuro!" MAtthew scolded the bear.

"Okay, ouch." Gilbert inspected the wound, "What is that bear's name? You keep calling it different ones."

"Oh,uh.." Matthew's face was blank, "I don't even know his name, now that you mention it."

* * *

><p>"Liet! This is, like, so exciting!" Feliks, the excitable polish kid, was gushing to his best friend Toris, a quiet boy from Lithuania.<p>

"I'm glad you're enjoying it." Toris sighed, "Ivan forced me to come. Ivan was Toris' step-brother. He and a few other children were a part of Ivan's big adopted family. Toris lived with his two foster parents, Ivan and his two sisters Katuya and Natile. Toris had a crush on Natile but only Feliks knew about it.

"Hey look!" Feliks grabbed Toris' arm, "Look at Francis! He looks, like, so funny!" Toris looked but only saw Natile. He gulped,

"Natile's here?" Feliks frowned at him,

"Liet, she's like, in love with her _brother_. Forget about her and like, move on! Think of, like, me!" Toris looked over,

"Huh? Sorry, what did you say?" Feliks groaned. He stood up from the bleachers,

"I'll like _show you_, Liet." Feliks left, leaving a confused Toris in his wake.

hr

"So you're Francis' cousin?"

"Oui." Matthew nodded, "He talks about you." Matthew then muttered,

"Il avait raison quand il a dit que vous étiez attrayant."

Gilbert raised and eyebrow,

"What was that?" Matthew blushed crimson,

"N-nothing!

"Sie sind süß, wenn Sie erröten." Gilbert murmured.

"Hhm?" Both Matthew and Gilbert were glad they were bi-lingual. Gilbert cleared his throat,

"So, Francis..."

"Is so embarrassing!" Matthew covered his eyes. Gilbert saw why and laughed.

* * *

><p>"What the bloody hell are you wearing?" Arthur demanded. He had been fitted into a football uniform, butt pads and all. The helmet was a little big for him.<p>

"L'Angleterre!" Francis came running at him wearing a purple cheerleading outfit. The shirt finished at the bottom of his ribs, and the skirt sat just above his knees. Thank God he, being European, had shaved his legs, "Do you like it?"

"It's a freaking girl's outfit!"

"Arthur, do you like mine?" Feliks was also sporting the same outfit, though his was an eye-raping pepto-pink. **(I had to do that, I'm sorry all Poland fans! Don't kill me!)**

"I see you roped the cross-dresser into this." Arthur raised a rather bushy eyebrow.

"He came of his own free will!" Francis replied.

"Francis!" The group turned to see Antonio in the announcer's booth, "It suits you!" He called over the mic.

"You tomato bastard!" Lovino, who was sitting next to him, hit him repeatedly over the head with the microphone, resulting in plenty of unwelcome noise.

Team Axis made their way to the field.

"Ve~Luddy, can I call you that?"

"Nein."

"Luddy, I don't want to!" Feliciano complained, pushing the extended hand holding his helmet away. Ludwig forced it on anyway and did up the strap,

"You have to vear it or you vill get a concussion."

"A c-c-c-concussion?" Kiku panicked.

"Don't vorry," Ludwig pulled on his own helmet, "I'll protect you guys." Ludwig had already accepted that he had to be the brawn of the team.

"Hey look! Cheerleaders!" Alfred grinned. He and Ivan were also dressed and ready to go. When Alfred found out that the cheerleaders consisted of Francis and Feliks, he shivered. Francis would never cease to disturb him. Ever.

"Let's get teh game started, da?" Ivan smiled wickedly. The two teams positioned themselves on the field.

* * *

><p>"Hola!" Antonio's voice came over the microphone, "Welcome to the first game of the competition: The Axis Versus the Allies!"<p>

"On the Axis team," Lovino announced, "We have my stupid brother as number seven, the potato bastard as number 11, and their stupid friend as number 5."

The Allies team couldn't help but snicker.

"Um, okay." Antonio took the mic,"On the Allies team we have Alfred Jones as number 50, Arthur Kirkland as number 35, and Ivan Braginsky as number 67. I am so excited for this game and the cheerleaders are looking great!" Lovino sighed, "And just look at those butt pads!" Antonio's comment was followed by a loud banging sound as his head met the desk, courtesy of one pissed italian.

"Can we just get this stupid game over with?" He shouted.

* * *

><p>The Allies wont the coin toss and were the first to have the ball.<p>

"32,10!,32,12!" Alfred called.

"What the hell are you saying?" Arthur cried.

"I'm calling the play." Arthur said simply.

"So, when you say 32 we..." Ivan was confused. Alfred sighed,

"Forget it. Hike! Arthur throw the ball!" Arthur passed the ball to Alfred while Ivan held off Ludwig. Kiku and Feliciano tried their best, but couldn't seem to do much to help the struggling german _and _hold off the american and brit. Arthur ran to the left of Kiku, opening himself for a pass.

"Alfred, I'm open! Pass me the ball!" Alfred saw him and threw the ball straigh into his hands,

"Wow! I actually caught it! I act-" Arthur was interrupted as something slammed into him, knoing him over backwards. He lay on his back, dazed. Slowly, ice blue eyes came into focus.

"Bitte, I thought you'd move." The blonde german was lying awkwardly on top of him. He pulled himself off as Alfred came running over,

"Artie, you okay dude?"

Arthur looked up and saw Alfred, concern plastered all over his face. Flustered, he shoved the football towards the american,

"I'm fine, you git!" Ivan helped Arthur to his feet.

* * *

><p>"And the potato bastard is finally useful." Lovino commented.<p>

"Good job Arthur for getting back on your feet, even though I don't like you."

Antonio cheered, "Go Allies!"

To which Lovino groaned.

* * *

><p>"Arthur! You suck!" A high-pitched voice yelled from the crowd. Said Brit's eye twitched violently. He knew that voice,<p>

"Peter! What are you doing here?" He shouted. Peter, Arthur's little brother stood up in the bleachers,

"Mum forced me to come!"

"Arthur, pay attention!" Alfred pulled the Brit into their group huddle, "It's obvious that Ludwig is all their power. So, if we take out that power, we'll be able to easily get past the other two. Okay, break!" Alfred clapped his hands, stepping away.

"Break what?" Ivan asked, searching for his lead pipe. Alfred screeched to a halt mid-step.

"Nevermind. You just deal with Ludwig, okay Ivan?" The russian nodded firmly, "And Arthur, just run as fast as you can to the goal post when I pass you the ball.

"Got it!"

* * *

><p>"Okay guys," Ludwig sighed, "Since I'm ze only one who has ze balls to tackle anyone, I need you to get ze ball and run to ze other side. Can you do zat?"<p>

"Si~"

"Hai!"

"Okay, let's try and get a goal."

* * *

><p>The Allies still had possesion of the ball. Alfred passed to Arthur and teh brit sprinted down the field. Feliciano and Kiku had been unable to catch him, and Ludwig had had his hands full dealing with Ivan and Alfred. Arthur ran into the endzone and scored a touchdown.<p>

"Yes!" The crowd went wild.

* * *

><p>"Hurra! The Allies got a point!" Antonio looked to Lovino, " Better start puckering up."<p>

Lovino huffed,

"Don't count your tomatoes before they're harvested. The games are not over yet. The Axis could still win... if that potato bastard could get a damn point!" Lovino grabbed the mic roughly, "Hey Hasselhoff! Try getting the ball for once!"

* * *

><p>Ludwig sighed, ignoring Arhur yelling for his teammates to 'put him down this bloody instant'.<p>

"Ready to give up yet?" Alfred laughed.

"Put me down!" Arthur wailed, perched atop Ivan and Alfred's shoulders.

"The game's barely started, and it is our ball, ja?" Ludwig said, extending a hand. Alfred placed the ball in it,

"Pssht, good luck."

* * *

><p>"Yay l'Angleterre!" Francis cheered, fangirlish squeals barely contained.<p>

"Like ra ra ra!" Feliks did a cartwheel.

"Big brother should have scored that." Feliks and Francis slowly backed away from Natalia's growing evil aura.

* * *

><p>"Come on, West!" Gilbert cheered.<p>

"West?" Matthew was confused.

"Yeah, that's what I call my little borther, Birdie."

"Birdie?" Matthew tilted his head to one side, still confused.

"That's what I'm gonna call you!" Gilbert grinned.

* * *

><p>The Axis had the ball. Ludwig passed to Kiku who caught it with surprising ease, but froze when the Allies came stampeding over to him.<p>

"Throw the ball!" Ludwig called as he took out Alfred. Kiku, weakly, threw the ball. Feliciano, who was standing aimlessly in the middle of the field, was hit in the face by said football. Surprised, he reached out and caught it. The Allies immediately headed straight towards him.

"Run, Feliciano! Run!" Ludwig yelled.

The italian ran, but he wasn't very fast and soon the Allies, minus Alfred, were gaining on him. (Oh noes.) Ludwig was too far away to help him out so he yelled,

"Feli! The British are coming!"  
>Feliciano turned, saw the Allies, and ran full tilt, in retreat of course, to the endzone, scoring the Axis their first point!<p>

* * *

><p>"Woohoo!" Lovino playfully punched Antonio's shoulder, "Did you see that?"<p>

Antonio smiled,

"Well done Ita-chan."

"Is that all you have to say?"

* * *

><p>"Wasn't that awesome? That was awesome! Wasn't it so awesome!" Gilbert nudged Matthew.<p>

"Gil, it was awesome." Matthew said slowly.

"_I KNOW RIGHT!"_

* * *

><p>"We made it just in time! Just in time to see my darling Feliciano get a goal!" Roma cooed, gripping the other's coat and shaking him slightly. The man kept a straight face.<p>

"I see Ludwig's training is improving." Gerhart **(A/N I heard this somewhere, so I think I'll use it..)** commented. He saw his other son sitting by himself.. with a white bear.

* * *

><p>"Feliciano! You can stop running now!" Ludwig had finally caught up with the italian.<p>

"Did I do good?" Feliciano asked hopefully.

"Ja." Ludwig smiled, "Let's vin this, okay?"

And then the Axis lost, 6 - 24.

"What?" Lovino cried, "How could they lose? Stupid potato bastard!"

"Hey, Lovi." Antonio slung his arm around the italian's shoulders, "The Allies won. How about giving me a taste of my prize." He winked. Lovino shoved him away,

"Don't. Touch. _Me._" He said darkly, "The Allies haven't won yet. We still have nine competitions left!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about all the horizontal rules. (lines for those of you that've never taken compter science*cough*is fun*cough*)<strong>

**Woo, sorry that took so long to get up.**

**I had planned originally to get it up on Monday night, but ended up staying up till **_**2AM**_** trying to get it done. haha.**

**Translations:**

**"Il avait raison quand il a dit que vous étiez attrayant."(French) "He was right when he said you were attractive."**

**"Sie sind süß, wenn Sie erröten."(German) "You are cute when you blush."**

**Oh! And thank you to Koneko on Lyoko and Fruk27 for reviewing! The love is greatly appreciated! :D**

**And just for the fact, I am a Rome/Germania fan. :P**

**Sorry if my hinting was bad.**

**Alright, thanks for reading, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up a little sooner than this.**

**By the way, that review button feels lonely... why don't you show it some love? ;)**


	3. Jousting

**Wow, I am so sorry you guys D:**

**I took forever in updating because my bff, DanzQueenB decided to take a little trip to visit sir Arthur (ahem England ahem) without me, and I didn't want to update while she was away.**

**So, I will try my best to get the next chapter up and running faster than this one! :D**

**Und bitte, this chapter is a bit...off. HAh! ;) I'm sure you'll like it though!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Hell naw.**

hr

**Chapter 3: WHy Hetalians shouldn't **_**Joust**_

"Since we won the first competition, I get to pick the next game." Arthur grinned, "And I pick..." He paused for dramatic effect,

"Cricket!"

There was a long silence, in which crickets could be heard chirping madly, in the student council room - where the two teams were meeting.

"What's 'cricket'?" Alfred asked, tilting his head cutely to one side. Wait, Arthur did _not_ just think that. Ahem.

"Well, there's a ball and a bat-"

"OH LIKE BASEBALL?" Alfred fist pumped.

"No you git! It's completely different from your yankee **(1)** sport!" Arthur harrumphed.

"For argument's sake," Ludwig spoke, "do you have a second choice?" Arthur seemed surprised, but answered anyway,  
>"Fine, we shall <em>joust!<em>"

"As in, with _horses_?" Kiku paled noticably.

"Why are you talking about horses?"

Michelle, a girl from the small island of Seychelles, came in carrying a cup of tea. She was the vice-president but was mostly used as an 'errand girl'.

"You steept it too long." Arthur commented, handing the cup back to the small girl, " Do it again and please make my friends some."

"With lots of sugar, _ahonhonhon~_" Francis winked. Michelle groaned and left the room.

"Anyways, vhere vere ve?" Anything to take his mind off of that... _Francis._ Ludwig inwardly shivered.

"We are jousting, so I hope you know how to ride." Arthur smiled coldly, "I have work to do, please leave."

The Axis did so immidiately. Feliciano bumped into Michelle on the way out.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Ve have to train." Ludwig replied, taking of his glasses and cleaning them with the hem of his shirt, before placing them back on the bridge of his nose.

"Ve~! We're jousting!" Feliciano grinned, but suddenly it faded, "Ve~Luddy, what's jousting?" Before Ludwig could scold him, Michelle piped up,

"Oh! Is this for the big competition I've been hearing about?" The three nodded back at her.

"Well, if it helps, I'll be rooting for you. Knock Eyebrows off his high-horse for me, will you? Literally." She smiled, albeit devillishly, before taking the tray of hot tea into the student council room. As they left, they heard a 'honhonhon' followed by what sounded like screaming and something that sounded akin to 'Sorry, tripped over Eyebrows here, hope the tea wasn't _too hot.'_

hr

"See Kiku? It's not scary!" Feliciano said, placing Kiku's hand on the velvety muzzle of the huge horse. It snorted and Kiku jumped. The Axis were int he school's stable area.

"Feli, can I talk to you?" Ludwig asked. He pulled the crazy Italian aside.

"Wait, Fericiano-san!"

"You''ll be fine, Kiku." Feliciano called to him, before giving Ludwig his full attention, "Ve~ What's up?"

"Ve need to replace Kiku."

"What? But! But..."

"Our competition is this afternoon, and it's obvious zat Kiku von't be able to overcome his fears, or even ride, by zen."

"But he's improving! Ve..."

"He hasn't even gotten _on_ ze horse yet!"

"VE~! Kiku's our friend. Are you suggesting we just dump him?"

"Ja, but only for zis competition." Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're repracing me?" Kiku walked over, having heard everything.

"Well.." Feliciano scratched the back of his neck, unwilling to just outright tell his friend they didn't want him..

"Ja." Ludwig stated bluntly.

"Oh, thank the Gods!"**(2)** Kiku sighed with relief.

"You're okay with this?Ve~?" Feliciano was surprised.

"Vell, if zat's settled, who can we use as a replacement?" Ludwig asked, although he didn't show it, he was also relieved that Kiku did not mind being benched this time.

"I have someone in mind." Kiku replied.

hr

"You want me to do what?" The figure plunked her big boots on the table, "How do you know if I can even ride a horse?"

"I've never ridden one eizer." Ludwig admitted, "But ve need a tough person who has no fear."

"Hmm.." The figure deliberated.

"Please, Elizabeta-san?" Kiku begged. Elizabeta smirked,

"Of course I'll help, but in return," Her eyes sparkled, " I want you to draw me a twenty page GerIta doujinshi!"

"Okay." Kiku agreed, shaking her outstreched hand, blushing. Ludwig didn't even _want_ to know what the hell 'GerIta' even was.

"So, you'll help us, zen?" He asked.

"You bet!" Elizabeta flashed a victory sign. Feliciano joined her,

"Ve~!"

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"Bienvenada to the second game in the series!" Antonio announced enthusiastically.

"What smells like shit? Is it the potato bastard?"

"Uh, no Lovi, that's the horses."

"Well, there had better be some fucking violence in this!"

"It is, uh, jousting."

"The Axis team has a substitute this team around." Lovino shouted into the mic, "My fratello's stupid friend has been replaced by Elizabeta Hédervary!..Poor Allies, you guys are gonna get creamed. Heh, suckers!"

"And the line up is.." Antonio unrolled a crumpled piece of paper, that _should_ have been a scroll, "Arthur versus Elizabeta, Francis versus Feliciano, and ALfred versus Ludwig."

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"You have to get a girl to help you?" Arthur stood in an armored suit, "What losers!" The Allies shared a collective laugh.

"Please don't hurt me!" Elizabeta jeered, " Is what _you'll_ be saying after I kick your ass!"

The Allies immediately stopped laughing...except Alfred, who's laugh was so loud he couldn't hear anybody else. When he took a breath he suddenly realised no one was laughing wiht him, and trailed off when he noticed Elizabeta looking murderous.

"Come on Ludwig, Feliciano, let's go pick out our horses!" And she dragged the two away.

"That girl is-" Francis began, Alfred interrupted him,

"Don't tell me you want to sleep with her _too?_"

"Quoi? NON! That girl is effrayante!" Francis shouted indigntantly.

"Well, I am certainly not afraid of some girl!" Arthur proclaimed, storming off towards teh Allied stables.

"He'z not afraid, 'e's stupid." Francis stated, wide-eyed. The rest of the group just nodded.

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"First off we have Elizabtea versus Arthur." Said Brit heard Antonio announce over the mic. Arthur's hand tightened around the lance. He always found it very stuffy inside of the metal jousting helmets. People thought he had a death wish going up against Elizabeta. He also thought it unbecoming of a gentleman, such as himself, to knock a woman off of her horse, though Elizabeta rarely acted liek a woman so..

He positioned himself facing his opponent. They were seperated only by a wooden railing suspended five feet above the ground. They stared eachother down, before with a mighty cry, each kicked the horse to a gallop and started lining up their lances. Arthur didn't have any time to think as Elizabeta's lance pounded into his chest and sent him flying off of his mount, who kept moving. The crowd cheered, Gilbert among the loudest of them.

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"Woah! Did you see that, Roddy? Your girlfriend is a beast!" Gilbert yelled, slapping Roderich on the back. The man simply coughed in embarrassment. 'The Awesomness' nudged Matthew,

"That was so awesome! Lizzy pwned eyebrows!

"I hope Arthur's okay.." Matthew mumbled, clutching Kumajiro closer.

"Who?" It whispered.

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"I lost..." Arthur seemed to be in a trance, "I bloody lost.."

"Is he okay?" Francis asked, following Alfred as he piggy-backed the defeated Brit off the field. Elizabeta rode up to them and pulled her helmet off as her horse walked next to them,

"Oops, did I hurt the little limmy?" She teased, "You 'gentlemen' are going _down._" She laughed, and cantered away.

"Don't worry, Arthur, mon ami," Frnacis took his hand, squeezing it gently, " I will not let you down!"

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"Next we have Feliciano versus Francis!"

"I can't do this, ve~!" Feliciano was trembling slightly.

"Come on, Feli, you'll do fine." Ludwig for once, showed a softer side and encouraged the Italian.

"Hug?" Feliciano held out his arms, looking hopeful. Ludwig plopped the helmet on his friend's head,

"After you go, okay Feli?" The German pushed him over to his horse encouragingly, a soft smile on his lips.

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now get out zere and blow zose Allies avay!" He patted Feliciano on the shoulder and helped him mount. Feliciano trotted slowly toawrd the field. Kiku waved shyly from the crowd. The Italian was about to wave back, but Elizabeta shoved a lance into his open hands.

"Go for it!" She said, beaming at him. He gulped and lined up his horse, lowering the visor on his helmet. Francis sat tall on his steed, who pawed furiously at the ground in anticipation. To poor Feli, it looked like a vision from hell. He started to pray under his breath,

"_Ave Maria, gratia plena.."_

Francis smiled, although cruelly. This was unlike the French man.

"_Dominus tecum, benedicta tu in mulieribus..._"

The blonde lowered his visor, and his '_honhonhon_'s echoed slightly. Feliciano could hear them.

"_Et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus. Sancta Maria mater Dei..._"

Francis gripped his lance with a force that turned his knuckles white beneath his gloves. This Italian was going down.

"_Ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae._"

"LE CHARGE!" Francis cried as he urged his horse to a gallop. Feliciano urged his horse to a gallop as well.

The two clashed and Feliciano disappeared. The crowd gasped.

"_Amen."_

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"Francis is the winner! Good job!" Antonio announced.

"That baguette bastard killed my fratello!" Lovino raged, shaking Antonio, " The fucker must _DIE!"_

"Wait! Lovi _look!_"

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Feliciano hadn't fallen off. Francis had hit him, sure, but the Italian had clung onto his saddle for dear life, and was now hanging off the side of a slowing horse.

"Le gasp!" Francis gaped.

"Good job Feli! I knew you had it in you!" Ludwig called proudly from the participant corner.

"I'm so proud!" Elizabeta was sitting with Roderich, and her eyes were leaking.

Feliciano and Francis lined up for a second round. The young Italian was feeling more confident now, and charged first. However, Francis took him out before he could even say 'Pasta'.

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"Feli!" Ludwig called out, running towards his friend with Kiku and Elizabeta not far behind, "Are you okay?"

"Did I do good,ve?" Feliciano asked, dazed.

"Ja, you did. I'm..proud of you, Feli." Ludwig murmured, helping Feliciano to his feet. He was promptly latched on to.

"Did we lose?" Feli pouted.

"No,you're tied." Kiku glanced at Ludwig, "It's up to Ludwig-san now." The blonde nodded, a determined look crossing his features.

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"Yes!" Arthur cheered when Francis dismounted, "I could kiss you!"

Francis approached, but Arthur suddenly realised his mistake and pushed Francis away, "But I won't."

Francis looked disappointed. Arthur then turned to Alfred, his hand still keeping Francis at arm's length,

"We're tied so it's up to you to win this for us. Don't screw up!"

"Don't worry, I'm the hero!" Alfred flashed a grin, "I'll win and then you'll be wanting to kiss me too!"

"What are you talking about?" Arthur flushed,

"Idiot."

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Ludwig mounted his horse, a large palomino, and rode into the arena. He saw Alfred, on his tall overo ready to go at the other end. Since Alfred was 'chomping at the bit', Ludwig placed his helmet on his head and braced his lance. Feliciano was on the edge of his seat. Of course, Alfred charged first. The two clashed but both were able to endure the hit and keep going. Reaching their respective ends, they turned around and came at eachother again. This time, Ludwig took a strong hit from Alfred's lance.

From the stands he heard Feliciano call him. He stayed strong and endured the hit. Once again, the two faced eachother.

"Artie's gonna kill me if I lose." Alfred thought worriedly, "And then I'll never get a kiss..Wait what?"

"I've got to knock that fat idiot off," Ludwig thought, his expression hardening," I'll hit him in h is weak spot. His stomach!"

Thw two charged. Ludwig's lance caught Alfred right in the middle of his stomach, but Alfred's caugh him in the shoulder.

"Oof!

"That's gonna bruise." Ludwig thought, and then they both hit the ground. The crowd, with a lack of better reactions, gasped.

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"Ludwig!" Feliciano flipped over the small barrier in the competitor's box. He sprinted over to his fallen friend with a speed only an Italian possessed, chucking his helmet in to the face of some innocent old man, and sat down on his chest. He grabbed the German's broad shoulders and began shaking him,

"Don't die Luddy! I need you! Live, Live, LIVE!"

The blonde coughed and opened his eyes as Feli inched his face closer. The blue eyes widened a fraction before he sat up abruptly. Feliciano slid harmlessly down into his lap, looking up at him tearfull and muttering a few 've's'.

"Vat vere you doing?" He asked, staring down at the now beaming Italian.

"Ve~!" Feliciano hugged him tightly, shoving his face against his muscled chest, "I thought you were dead, so I was going to give you mouth-to-mouth!" The Italian was so innocent and naïve. Being as pale-skinned as he was, Ludwig lit up like a Christmas tree.

"It's is good to see you're okay." Kiku added.

"Who von?"

"Sorry for the wait!" Antonio apologized over the loud speaker.

"No we're not." Lovino muttered.

"Here's the results..."

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Arthur winced as Alfred hit the ground hard. Francis placed a hand on the Brit's shoulder.

"Well, zat sucks. I guess we lost, but I at least go a point so.." He leaned in, puckering his lips. Arthur took no notice and dashed over to Alfred. HE propped the American's head up on his lap.

"Artie?" Alfred whispered.

"It's Arthur."

"It _is_ you! Dude, I was seeing stars. Like 50 of them!" Alfred looked dazed.

"Well, as long as you are okay.."

"Aw!" Alfred grinned, "You were worried about me!" Arthur bonked him ont he head, blushing furiously.

"No, I was not."

"Oww, Artie I'm hurt here!"

"You can't be hurt if you have a mouth like that!"

"No, seriously, I think I sprained my ankle when I fell."

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" Antonio's voice villed the area.

"No we're not." Lovino mumbled.

"Here's the results..."

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"After watching a tape of the last round-" Antonio interrupted

"Which was really funny to watch backwards!"

"Shut up! Ahem, the video shows that the potato bastard-"

"Pause for dramatic eefect~"

"Will you shut the fuck up!" Lovino thwacked Antonio over the head with the mic, resulting in loud feedback, "Anyways, the Axis won because the burger bastard hit the ground before the potato bastard... do you have anything to say?" Lovino looked at Antonio, who held up a hastily scribbled sign that read,

"You told me to shut up, Lovi."

The elder Italian sighed, face-palming.

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"We won? Ve~! We WON!" Feliciano hugged Ludwig tighter.

"Feli-ack! You are choking me! Ludwig tried, in vain to pry the little Italian off of him. Kiku chuckled quietly.

"Yes! We won!" Elizabeta squealed, glomping her Austrian boyfriend.

"High five, sister! Fromt he Awesome me to the almost as awesome you!" Gilbert held up the hand that wasn't around Mathhew's waist.

"Touch me and I'll cut off your vital regions." Elizabeta threatened, pulling a frying pan from the bag at Roderich's feet.

"Okay, sheesh!" Gilbert quickly lowered his hand.

"She'll cut off your what?" Matthew asked, blushing when he realised where Gilbert's other arm was.

"Don't ask." Gilbert hissed, "She'll do it. Without a second thought."

Matthew shrugged. He had a feeling that Alfred was going to be in a bad mood tonite, but he knew all he had to do was listen and be ready to make plenty of trip to the grocery store for ice cream.

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Ludwig had finally managed to pry the Italian off of his neck, but the boy had re-attached himself to his arm, muttering,

"We won! ve!" over and over again quietly.

Arthur helped a limping Alfred over to team Axis. Francis, still frustrated over the ddenial of a kiss, refused to help. Ivan and Yao trailed slightly behind the group.

"You can pick the next game, since you won, then." Arthur conceded.

"Feli, you can pick." Ludwig informed him.

"Me?" Ludwig nodded, he refused to smile at the boy's cute antics..wait what?

"Ve~!"

"Tell us in a week, da?" Ivan smiled.

"Come Alfred, let's have a look at that ankle." Yao suggested.

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**Wow, okay then, this chapter was chock full of fluff. haha, oops?**

**Oh, and I made France look so evil int his chappie, I jsut had this whole cinematic thing going on in my head with the whole Ave Maria thing. Hope it turned out okay.**

**(1) Yankee - not sure what this is, probably an english slang or something. But it is also the name of New York's baseball team. Yay New York Yankees! :D**

**(2) I think Kiku(Japan) would be part of the Shinto religion, and if my knowledge is correct(Okami ahem if you havent played that game YOUMUST) tehy worship more than one god.**

**That is all~!**

**And reviews are love, and more chapters! :D**


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